I was in my office here at CadetStuff the other day tearing what little hair I have left out. The May issue was late. That slacker Stanford was pulling one of his usual "oh, I just don't feel creative today.." routines, and our issue was delayed. Again.

I idled my time working on an editorial I've been brewing for six months and smoked a cigar. There were two knocks at my door. I was annoyed at the intrusion.

"Come in!" I barked. Dan "Skyhawk" Brodsky stepped inside, shut the door, and snapped to attention in front of my desk.


"Skyhawk, you should be in the forums. Whats on your mind?"

"I'm commandant of an encampment. I've got a wife and a kid on the way, sir, I've never even seen 'em since CadetStuff came around..."

He paused and licked his lips.

"I don't know whats happening in there.. Its so scary..." His voice trailed off.

I pondered his situation, knowing full well that he'd gotten married only in the last year or so. Clearly, Skyhawk had timing issues, not to mention that he'd lost his 1000 yard stare.

I dismissed him with a wave of my hand.

"Come on, Skyhawk, we've seen this before.."

"No, sir," he whispered, "I'm holdin' on too tight.. I've lost the edge.."

With that he slid the keys to the forums across the desk at me, spun on his heel and fled my office.

The virtual cigar smoke curled around my face. Now what?

"Moore, get in here!" I shouted, knowing that Skyhawk's chief assistant backup go-to-guy, Michael Moore, callsign Baronet68, would be standing just outside my door. He found the spot two paces from my desk and braced there.

"What is it with you? What are you doing here, Moore?"

"Just want to serve CadetStuff and be the best forum moderator ever, sir!"

I exploded out of my chair, clearing the corner of my desk with cat-like grace. I was next to his ear in an instant.

"Don't screw around with me, Moore. You're a hell of an instinctive moderator. Maybe too good. I'd like to bust your butt but I can't. I got another problem here. I gotta get a new forum honcho."

I leaned back, wincing at what I had to say next.

"I gotta do something here, I still can believe it. I gotta give you your dream shot! I'm gonna send you up against the best...."

I walked around in front of him.

"You're gonna be our new forums Top Gun!"

"You were number two, Skyhawk was number one. Skyhawk lost it, turned in the keys. You're number one now.."

Moore turned slightly, grinning and eyballing me from the his brace. I leaned back in toward him, my smile curling to a leer. "But you remember just one thing: You screw up just this much, I'll have you flying an Airvan full of rubber dog [poop] outta Gary, Indiana!"

"Yes sir!" he barked.

"That is all.."

Baronet68 spun, bolting for my office door.

"Moore.."

He hesitated, looking back at me from the open doorway..

"Good luck out there.."