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That's not a joke! That is a severe emotional disorder.

Dr. Drill

You can submit your questions to Dr. Drill via e-mail to : DrDrill@CadetStuff.org.

Dear Dr. Drill,

On 1 April, I was reading your great column when I saw this:

So you turn your eyes 45 degrees to the right and head 45 degrees to the right at the same time. So if you move your eyes 45 degrees to the right at the same time as you're moving your head, you'll end up with your head at 45 degrees and your eyes looking further over in the same direction as your head is turned. Think of your vision as the hour hand of a clock. At attention your vision points to 12 o'clock. After Dress Right Dress your vision points to 1:30, and so will your head."

I'm trying to understand how if your eyes are looking "further over in the same direction as your head is turned", how both my eyes and head could be looking at "1:30". Shouldn't my head be facing 1:30 and my eyes facing 3:00?

I guess my question is: Do I turn my head and look in that direction (1:30), or do I turn my head and look further over to my right (1:30, 3:00)? You seem to have told me to do both, which gives me eye strain.

Or was this part of the annual CadetStuff April fool's joke?

Respectfully,
Robert P. Haase
Major (CAP)

Dr. Drill responds

Hi Major,

Hey, weren't you the guy who wrote in a couple months ago? So, is it Major Hasse or Major Hassle? Arf arf!

And, hey, the Doctor never jokes about occular health. I'm living proof that certain activities your mother warned you about will make you go blind (oh, why did I insist on sitting too close to the TV?).

Anyway, to answer your question: the drill manual reads as follows (Paragraph 4.4.1.1): At the same time as the left arm is raised, each individual (except the guide and second, third, and fourth element leaders) turns head and eyes 45 degrees to the right with snap. What the Doctor takes away from that is your head and eyes should point 45 degrees (or 1:30 as I timed it above) off forward together. Your eyeballs should stay locked in your head the way they were at attention and exact alignment is to be attained using peripheral vision.

There is a school of thought that says the phrase "...head and eyes 45 degrees to the right..." means your head is 45 degrees off centerline, and your eyes are 45 degrees off the centerline of your head, meaning that you can, in theory, be looking 90 degrees to your right to adjust your alignment. It's not the way I read the manual, but the Doctor can excuse that in the interests of expediting the movement and improving the alignment, since this would give you the best boresight on your alignment.

Sorry for the confusion and I hope this helps,

Dr. Drill

Caution: Dr. Drill isn't always one hundred percent serious. Please activate your Joke Detectors. And don't call us when you find yourself explaining to a membership termination board why you used a staple gun to keep a cadet's hands at his sides during "To The Rear, March". All we're going to say on your behalf is "Duh!"

And if you find yourself on the bad end of a serious counseling because you decided to go toe-to-toe with your squadron commander over the position of the guide during a squadron-in-mass formation or something similarly trivial, well, we're just going to point, laugh and call you names!

Dr. Drill welcomes comments and corrections. Nothing herein is to be construed as official policy unless quoted from an up-to-date regulation or manual and Dr. Drill is not to be used as a blunt instrument to reshape the pointy heads of your superiors. Dr. Drill has made an extensive study of the drill and knows some people who know some things, but he's not the Final Authority on what happens at your unit. That Final Authority is? That's right, kids! Your UNIT COMMANDER.

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