This article is the first part in a series of articles reviewing the book How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie (1936. New York: Pocket Books, 1994.) All part titles, chapter titles, and principles are from the book and written by Dale Carnegie. This article takes those principles and applies them to the Cadet Program.

Chapter 1 -- "If You Want to Gather Honey, Don't Kick Over the Beehive"

How many times, as a follower in the cadet program, have you been put in a situation with which you did not agree? Whether it is your flight commander telling you how you can and cannot wear you hair, or making your bunk at your first encampment, we are often put in situations, as followers, that we do not like.

Equally, how many times, as a leader in the cadet program, have you had to manage a situation with which you did not approve? Whether your cadets are not performing to your standards or you simply disagree with your staff, you are still the leader.

Often, when put in these types of situations, we criticize, condemn or complain. Criticism, condemnation, or complaining usually makes a person defensive and makes him fight to justify himself. His pride is hurt and he resents you.

Instead, of criticizing, condemning, or complaining, try to understand the other person. Try to figure out why they do what they do. Understanding breeds sympathy, tolerance, and kindness. "To know all is to forgive all." "You can clear up many misunderstandings and differences of opinion simply by being a good listener." (Leadership: 2000 and Beyond, Chapter 6)

God does not judge us until the end of our days. Why should we?

Chapter 2 -- The Big Secret of Dealing with People

There is only one way to get somebody to do what you want. Just one way. And that is to make them want to do it. The United States Air Force currently defines leadership as "the art of influencing and directing people in a way that will win their obedience, confidence, respect, and loyal cooperation in achieving a common objective." The best leadership is getting people to do what you want, not because you want them to, but because they want to themselves.

Remember Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs? (Leadership: 2000 and Beyond, Chapter 6) The need for self-esteem is the second from the top. Like our leadership manual says, "Let them feel important. Most people need status and recognition."

Most people satisfy this need by feeling appreciated. Many of our members leave because they do not feel appreciated.

While I'm not condoning flattery (and flattery is easy to discern), showing sincere appreciation (and truly appreciating them) makes dealing with people easier, and their dealings with you easier.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him."

Chapter 3 -- "He Who Can Do This Has the Whole World with Him. He Who Cannot Walks a Lonely Way"

As I said in the previous section, there is only one way to get somebody to do what you want, and that is to make them want to do it. Good leaders do not talk about what they want; they talk about what their followers want and show them how to get it. In showing their followers how to get what they want, leaders conveniently get the desired action out of their followers.

Henry Ford said, "If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person's point of view and see things from that person's angle as well as from your own."

As Dale Carnegie says in the book, "When we have a brilliant idea, instead of making others think it is ours, why not let them cook and stir the idea themselves. They will then regard it as their own; they will like it and maybe eat a couple helpings of it."

If you would like more information on the fundamentals techniques of handling people, I suggest reading the book How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie (1936. New York: Pocket Books, 1994.)

In the next article, I review six ways to make people like you, according to Dale Carnegie.