Leadership is not for the faint of heart. Being a leader means more than receiving salutes and getting a special reserved parking space. Being a leader means facing unfathomably difficult decisions and indescribable loneliness.

Now, before we go any further, I'm not a fatalist. In fact, I have a true passion for leadership studies. There are also indescribable rewards that only leaders can experience. If leadership was nothing but one sacrifice after another with no respite, few people would even consider stepping up and becoming leaders. But make no mistake: being in charge means being responsible. This responsibility can be difficult to deal with on several different levels.

"Integrity means doing the right thing even when it costs more than you're willing to pay." - CPT Matt Thompson, US Army¹

As leaders, we are called to be of the utmost character. The privilege of having authority over other people binds us to hold ourselves to a higher standard, to value Honor over all. This takes a considerable amount of personal courage.

It's really tempting to go down the beaten path, the easy route. Real leadership is not easy. Real leadership is about self-control, service, and sacrifice. Nevertheless, sometimes we are called upon to work with - or for - people who do not have the strength or courage required to do right thing. This is where the cost comes in.

When all is said and done, you will answer to no one but yourself and whatever God you choose to serve. You may face disciplinary action. It may be unfounded and uncalled for. But if you can look at yourself in the mirror and know that you did the right thing, that's all you need to worry about. If you can look yourself in the eye and tell yourself "I did the right thing" with absolute honesty and conviction, that's all that matters.

In the end, doing the right thing always costs less than the price of doing the wrong thing.

"To do what is right, not what is popular. Command is a double-edged sword." - Mjr. Cliff "Dix" Dixon, Canadian Armed Forces²

When I was a cadet, I was once called upon to recommend that one of my followers be relieved of command. This was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make as a leader. As such, I asked to be the one to explain the situation to the flight members. I was as delicate and tactful as possible. After I finished my explanation, one of the flight members said, "Ma'am, I just want to let you know that as a flight, we really respect our Flight Commander. We've learned a lot and we've come together as a team really well." They didn't understand. I was not at liberty to come right out and give them all of the details, so they could not have understood.

Words cannot express the feeling I had at that moment. I wanted to turn around and run away. My decision was anything but popular. My leaders agreed with me, but my followers thought I was wrong, and felt such conviction that they were not afraid to call me out on it in public. I made my decision based on factors that they did not know about. I did what was in their best interest, even though they didn't realize it. All I had going for me was the fact that I knew in the depths of my being that I had done the right thing. That's where I found my strength and courage.

"Command is lonely." - Colin Powell³

There is a special order of loneliness reserved only for leaders. We are called to stand up for what is right, even when nobody else will stand up with us - even when it costs more than we're willing to pay. When you choose to become a leader, you are choosing to embrace that loneliness with both arms.

However, pay attention to General Powell's words. He said "command is lonely," not "commanders are alone." Good leaders surround themselves with advisors and mentors who can help them think things through when they're struggling with a decision. They are rarely alone. The feeling of loneliness stems from bearing sole responsibility for making the decision.

It has been said that success has a thousand parents, but failure is an orphan. Few things in this world are lonelier than the knowledge that the responsibility is yours alone.

As previously mentioned, we don't promise you a rose garden. Responsibility isn't always nice and pretty. Leadership isn't about what you can get out of it; leadership is about what you're willing to give up.

Do you possess the strength and courage it takes to become a real leader?

2. Mjr. Dixon describes himself simply as "The Crazy Canuck." Upon retirement from the Canadian Armed Forces, he has devoted himself to youth development and training the next generation of leaders.

3. For more on Colin Powell, read his autobiography My American Journey and The Leadership Secrets of Colin Powell by Oren Harari.