cleverPhrases = new Array( 'CadetStuff: More fun that picking up power converters at Tosche Station!', 'Ladies and gentlemen, please check yourself for ticks.', 'Phew! Last night we had a bunch of zombies on this site. Whatta bunch!', 'It's more fun than humans should be allowed to have.', 'We try and try to do for you and this is the thanks we get!', '...and free balloons for the kids!', 'CadetStuff r0xx0rZ t3h b1G 0n3!!!111!!!!!!!11', 'Have you seen a licensed physician about that?', 'Does this look infected to you?', 'Granny, it's time to get Jethro out of the ceement pond.', 'This site's so good, it ought to be on the internet!', 'Hey, would you like to buy a monkey?', 'CadetStuff: the most powerful site on the planet.', 'By the way, that IS permitted.', 'This site is so good, it's hard to believe it's ours!', 'What kind of site is this? The crying on the inside kind.', 'Our advice: Don't overdo it.', 'This is only an exhibition, not a competition. No wagering, please.', 'You kids stay out of my yard!', 'Hey, they don't hire chimps to do this sort of thing.', 'There is no off position on the genius switch.', 'Oh no! We're gonna get sued.', 'It's important in this business to know the pinheads from the weasels.', 'Don't worry, it's just radioactive steam.', 'The Eighth Wonder of the World - CadetStuff!', 'Hey kids, it's only the internet!', 'Just blow the roof off this dump!', 'This is what happens when you hire a some dopes to run a web site.', '...and we all know how painful that can be!', 'Working 365 days a year to entertain the world!', 'America's favorite preserved meat giveaway.', 'Your parents must be very proud of you...', 'You know kids, we have a blockbuster of a site set up for you tonight.', 'Don't make us come up there and fight you!', 'You'll come for the ham, You'll stay for the band.', 'Now you know it's CadetStuff when you hear the magic sound...', 'It feels like something's wrong...', 'Okay, now this could be trouble...', 'Frightened the audience again, haven't we?', 'Them bats is smart, they use radar!', 'The glittering jewel in the crown of the internet!', 'It's almost like a shrine in here!', 'My, oh my, oh my, we're having some fun now!', 'Let's get to it, shall we?', 'One more outburst and we'll clear the auditorium.', 'Kids, do you love the Rock n' Roll?', 'Don't try this at home! Go to a neighbor's house.', 'They pelted us with rocks and garbage.', 'A sweet little cupcake....BAKED BY THE DEVIL!!!', 'Nicely packed, bag boy!', 'Thanks for sitting there applauding as though actually entertained.', 'All your Stuff are belong to us.', 'I love the smell of CadetStuff in the morning!', 'CadetStuff: Just like Cap'n Lessard used to make.', 'Desperate for attention and proud of it!', 'Where the staff is as fresh as the content.', 'Man, this is one whacky game show!', 'Dogs and cats, living together! Mass hysteria!', 'Home of the Aunt Jemimah Treatment!', 'There is no 'I' in 'team'. But there is an 'm' and an 'e'.', 'Slide your fine self over here and check out our Stuff!', 'CadetStuff: More absorbent! Longer lasting!', 'It wouldn't hurt you people to salute me once in awhile!', 'More Stuff than a barrel full of monkeys!', 'Chock-full of Stuff!', 'From Columbia, Missouri! Almost live: it',s CadetStuff!', 'All your Stuff are belong to us.', 'A long time ago, on a website far, far away...', 'Don't let your boss catch you here...', 'Go big or go home!', 'If you don't like it, tell us. If you like it, tell others!', 'CadetStuff: the website your commander warned you about.', 'Got Stuff?', 'Don't let your flight commander catch you here!', 'Come on in, the Stuff is fine!', 'They can't do that to our Cadets! Only we can do that to our Cadets!', 'Chicks dig us!', 'Cartman sez: 'CadetStuff is pretty sweeeet!!'', 'Would you care for a chocolate-covered pretzel?', 'Gets whites whiter! Gets stubborn stains out of your Cadets!', 'Are you eyeballing me, son?', 'We've got the Right Stuff', 'This is not good, Mav...', 'We've got Stuff and we're not afraid to use it!', 'Jammed painfully full like a Thanksgiving turkey!', 'Bursting with flavor, CadetStuff really satisfies...', 'Go ahead, Stuff yer face!', 'Zoinks, yo!', 'Ohh, what a lovely tea-party!', 'Who's the slimy little communist twinkletoes down here who just signed his own death warrant!?!', 'Glam-a-liscious!', 'You! Get your hands of my pound cake!', 'Like this site, do ya? Do pushups!', 'The site with the Thousand Yard Stare...', 'Tasty brie... Now get yourself some.', 'Hey you, that rucksack ain't gonna carry itself!', 'Hey you! There's no speed limit on this mountain!', 'I've got more time carrying a rucksack than you've got as a cadet.', 'No, you cannot take your PT test by correspondence...', 'Clunk enough people and we'll have a nation of lumpheads.', 'CadetStuff.org: about as sharp as a sack of wet mice.', 'She's tryin' to make a pantywaist out of that poor kid.', 'That kid's about as sharp as a pound of wet liver.', 'If that kid don't stop talkin' so much he'll get his tongue sunburned.', 'Well, barbeque my hamhocks!', 'The site that's as subtle as a hand grenade in a barrrel of oat meal.', 'Look sister, is any of this filtering through that little blue bonnet of yours?', 'The boy's about as sharp as a bowling ball.', 'I've got this boy as figgity as a bubble dancer with a slow leak.', 'You look like two miles of bad road.', 'Just like a tattoo: gets under your skin.', 'This is gonna cause more confusion than a mouse in a burlesque show!' ); randNum = Math.floor((Math.random() * cleverPhrases.length)); document.write(cleverPhrases[randNum]);